Start over.

I spent 38 days away from all the madness. Away from myself.
Last 26th of August marked a year since I have been cursed by the injustice I have been a victim of, and it's not over; I can't believe I haven't been locked yet, really, I'm not depressed, I am angry at everything and everyone.
Tomorrow I believe I'm gonna quit my job, which is not a job, I had an offer I can't refuse, but it will take some months...I don't know why I should keep that job where I gain nothing and I spend more than I gain for transportations.
I smoke heavily, cigarettes are becoming my friends, they keep me from crying, Oh God I am becoming an addict!
I have always been the good one, and for that I have been abused, not that I can't speak my mind or demand my rights (which my situation denies me anyway) I just always tried to help the needy...but I am fucking tired of giving a finger and seeing them taking my whole arm!
I have been interrupted, God knows how I know the meaning of "girl, interrupted" by now!
Why don't I have a restoring Cd which will free my brain from all the spam? Why can't I throw away my dead battery and buy a new one?
The Lady of Shalott in me is screaming to escape the tower and be free?
Will I ever let her?
Or, since it doesn't depend on me, will they let her?
And when I am free, will I survive or will I be cursed again?
The chains of injustice hurt my heart and soul, the tower of denied rights is suffocating me, the river of broken faith and trust is so cold and stormy.


It's not me, it's the borderline.


Let me live by this sweet lie, so that I know I'm just broken and it's not my fault. Why can't I react this time?
And where are you now?
You look for me like I am the key to life...then you disappoint me with your fears.
Somebody wants me to hate you.
Show them why I can't.
Please.