20 years sinking slowly sings my beloved Emilie,
that's all my soul had to bear,
since I entered that elementary school my soul started to decay,
I've opened the windows to how the world goes,
nobody cares if you suffer.
I can't forget that big list of "sins",
from watching tv, to see someone kissing in the streets,
passing through collecting stickers.
We were demons in their eyes,
and there my o.c.d. started,
I felt like I was cursed. I felt like I was already damned.
I was with Satan they said, because I liked to be alone, because I had dreams outside of a kitchen and a church.
Because I preferred to write my scary thoughts, istead of play the "Days of the week game",
because I invented stories of solitude and creepy enviroments I was the witch.
I am a sinner.
I was 7 and already a sinner.
Sinner because I have a fucking aching heart, and I am fucking sensitive.
Sinner because I was raised a feminist.
Sinner because I am empowered.
I am still waiting for the darkness to come and make me blind because I watched "Beverly Hills 90210".
And I am still waiting for the devil to tell me that I am him.
Tuth is I am still waiting for Jesus to tell me He's Muslim and I am right.
There's that song from Alanis who says:
"I never forgot it, confusing as it was
No fun with no guilt feelings
The sinners, the saviors, the loverless priests
I'll see you next Sunday"
Yeah being on Church was the only salvation for us, who were sinners.
Fun was sin.
Laughter was sin
I had lon, long hair...my sin? Vanity
Yes, 1990 like Jane Eyre.
I'm lucky they didn't get me bald.
The fact that I had a lot colorful pencil meant that I was greedy.
That fact that my parents provided me a lot of food for lunch break meant that I was spoiled.
(They always walked with broken shoes to provide our food, even now).
Nuns told me I was too much considered a princess by them.
That was greed.
The fact that I dreamt of helping people without being a nun made me the least humble people ever.
The fact that they couldn't brainwash me was a proof I had Satan on my shoulder.
Yes, I am probably troubled for this.
I volunteered at a Christian center and I have seen it all again.
I worked, when I was already closer to Islam, in a refugees center led by Christian and I have see un-educated idiots playing with other people's lives.
Mocking their culture,
confusing my innate modesty with submission.
You know what my revenge is?
Seeing my love, my Muslim Palestinian love, walking, running, playing soccer after they said his leg coudn't walk anymore.
That's all that what fills my heart.
Habibi is so strong, my boyfriend is my undestructible hero,
that's why he's bringing me faith, courage and wisdom again.
When I says he loves Jesus because Muhammad (pbuh) thaught him to, and Jesus is not the bad guy nuns and priests told me about.
That's why I'll say
أشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وأشهد أن محمد رسول الله
that's all my soul had to bear,
since I entered that elementary school my soul started to decay,
I've opened the windows to how the world goes,
nobody cares if you suffer.
I can't forget that big list of "sins",
from watching tv, to see someone kissing in the streets,
passing through collecting stickers.
We were demons in their eyes,
and there my o.c.d. started,
I felt like I was cursed. I felt like I was already damned.
I was with Satan they said, because I liked to be alone, because I had dreams outside of a kitchen and a church.
Because I preferred to write my scary thoughts, istead of play the "Days of the week game",
because I invented stories of solitude and creepy enviroments I was the witch.
I am a sinner.
I was 7 and already a sinner.
Sinner because I have a fucking aching heart, and I am fucking sensitive.
Sinner because I was raised a feminist.
Sinner because I am empowered.
I am still waiting for the darkness to come and make me blind because I watched "Beverly Hills 90210".
And I am still waiting for the devil to tell me that I am him.
Tuth is I am still waiting for Jesus to tell me He's Muslim and I am right.
There's that song from Alanis who says:
"I never forgot it, confusing as it was
No fun with no guilt feelings
The sinners, the saviors, the loverless priests
I'll see you next Sunday"
Yeah being on Church was the only salvation for us, who were sinners.
Fun was sin.
Laughter was sin
I had lon, long hair...my sin? Vanity
Yes, 1990 like Jane Eyre.
I'm lucky they didn't get me bald.
The fact that I had a lot colorful pencil meant that I was greedy.
That fact that my parents provided me a lot of food for lunch break meant that I was spoiled.
(They always walked with broken shoes to provide our food, even now).
Nuns told me I was too much considered a princess by them.
That was greed.
The fact that I dreamt of helping people without being a nun made me the least humble people ever.
The fact that they couldn't brainwash me was a proof I had Satan on my shoulder.
Yes, I am probably troubled for this.
I volunteered at a Christian center and I have seen it all again.
I worked, when I was already closer to Islam, in a refugees center led by Christian and I have see un-educated idiots playing with other people's lives.
Mocking their culture,
confusing my innate modesty with submission.
You know what my revenge is?
Seeing my love, my Muslim Palestinian love, walking, running, playing soccer after they said his leg coudn't walk anymore.
That's all that what fills my heart.
Habibi is so strong, my boyfriend is my undestructible hero,
that's why he's bringing me faith, courage and wisdom again.
When I says he loves Jesus because Muhammad (pbuh) thaught him to, and Jesus is not the bad guy nuns and priests told me about.
That's why I'll say
أشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وأشهد أن محمد رسول الله
Nessun commento:
Posta un commento