(Yeah, an other Emilie Autumn inspired word...wayward!)
Since elementary school I haven't been the shiny happy little girl everybody wanted us to be. I was already outspoken and committed (my bless and curse...), I was 7 and I red books for girls who were more than 11, I didn't want to play funny games and my Barbies won Peace and Medicine Nobel Prizes instead of beauty pagents. I wanted to stop war.
Why the hell did I start suffering so young for humanitarian issues? I still don't know.
I had friends, I wasn't antisocial...but I enjoyed being the scary dark kid who liked to be alone sometimes.
And same with adolescence, a bookworm who wasn't even interested in guys, I was just pissed off and angry. And depressed. I was in this group of people who seemed so far from me; the girls' only problem was to be guys' pleaser and stereotyped themselves by struggling to get prettier each day without ever speaking their minds. I really took care of myself, I took care of my image but I cared more of my intelligence.
And this is the issue. Intelligent girls have a hard time here.
Now I am young woman, with a degree and getting a second one, who works for humanitarian causes and is proud of it. People think I'll go crazy because I care for social causes and I am depressed at the world. "Why don't you just tried to read some girly magazines and starting caring less about others?", they ask me. I can't.
"Why are you so depressed?", I am not anymore depressed at myself an about my life. I am depressed at the world. Even though some racist bastard tried to stop my life because I love a Palestinian man, I am fucking stronger and ready to speak up.
And yes I'll keep on reading philosophy instead of fashion magazines. And no, I don't want to be known for my body, but for my brain. I don't care if italian girls are known for their conventional style, I am not your typical italian girl. I don't like discoteques, I don't wanna dance in front of many men, the only time I dance is with my love, and not our stereotypical music.
And I am not afraid that my feminist beliefs will make me a bitter spinster, because my love loves the feminist I am. And yes, my love is muslim and I love Islam. And I am not submissive or what, he'll never ask me to be so.
Feminism in here is considered a bad word, girls just wanna have fun.
I suffer still from my scars and I am not afraid to show it. I don't care if I am not smiley all the time. If we need to be happy and carefree then I am not italian.
Yes the bad things done to me still burn. But I'll sick revenge. I am not a catholic saint. I can't forgive those who hurted me and the one I love.
And yes, I don't care if here smart is ugly. I still dream about winning a Nobel Prize like my Barbie did. A Peace one.
I won't ever be the object people in our country expect us women to be. I am not a socialite. I only surround myself with my beloved ones who love the odd, scary, dark young woman I am.
Since elementary school I haven't been the shiny happy little girl everybody wanted us to be. I was already outspoken and committed (my bless and curse...), I was 7 and I red books for girls who were more than 11, I didn't want to play funny games and my Barbies won Peace and Medicine Nobel Prizes instead of beauty pagents. I wanted to stop war.
Why the hell did I start suffering so young for humanitarian issues? I still don't know.
I had friends, I wasn't antisocial...but I enjoyed being the scary dark kid who liked to be alone sometimes.
And same with adolescence, a bookworm who wasn't even interested in guys, I was just pissed off and angry. And depressed. I was in this group of people who seemed so far from me; the girls' only problem was to be guys' pleaser and stereotyped themselves by struggling to get prettier each day without ever speaking their minds. I really took care of myself, I took care of my image but I cared more of my intelligence.
And this is the issue. Intelligent girls have a hard time here.
Now I am young woman, with a degree and getting a second one, who works for humanitarian causes and is proud of it. People think I'll go crazy because I care for social causes and I am depressed at the world. "Why don't you just tried to read some girly magazines and starting caring less about others?", they ask me. I can't.
"Why are you so depressed?", I am not anymore depressed at myself an about my life. I am depressed at the world. Even though some racist bastard tried to stop my life because I love a Palestinian man, I am fucking stronger and ready to speak up.
And yes I'll keep on reading philosophy instead of fashion magazines. And no, I don't want to be known for my body, but for my brain. I don't care if italian girls are known for their conventional style, I am not your typical italian girl. I don't like discoteques, I don't wanna dance in front of many men, the only time I dance is with my love, and not our stereotypical music.
And I am not afraid that my feminist beliefs will make me a bitter spinster, because my love loves the feminist I am. And yes, my love is muslim and I love Islam. And I am not submissive or what, he'll never ask me to be so.
Feminism in here is considered a bad word, girls just wanna have fun.
I suffer still from my scars and I am not afraid to show it. I don't care if I am not smiley all the time. If we need to be happy and carefree then I am not italian.
Yes the bad things done to me still burn. But I'll sick revenge. I am not a catholic saint. I can't forgive those who hurted me and the one I love.
And yes, I don't care if here smart is ugly. I still dream about winning a Nobel Prize like my Barbie did. A Peace one.
I won't ever be the object people in our country expect us women to be. I am not a socialite. I only surround myself with my beloved ones who love the odd, scary, dark young woman I am.
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